I wrote these poems after losing my father, Sandy Feit, on May 9, 2022. A committed, conservative Jew, he died, quite poetically, as he walked to the Western Wall in Jerusalem.
Traditional Judaism requires, upon the loss of a parent, sibling, child, or spouse, that an immediate family member recite the Mourner’s Kaddish, a prayer said in honor of the deceased for eleven months in order to help the soul ascend to Heaven.
Given how meaningful this tradition was to my father, I always thought my sister and I would do this for him. We didn’t. I thought I would feel guilty about this.
I don’t.
Because my writing became my own form of Kaddish.
Essential to the traditional practice of reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish is the need for the mourner to say it in a group of at least ten people. This is known as a minyan, which literally translates to count or number, but has come to mean ten people. There are many interpretations as to why the number ten is important. Some believe it has its origin in Abraham’s prayer to God to not destroy Sodom if there are ten righteous people in the city. A more contemporary belief is simply the importance of community and that a mourner shouldn’t grieve alone.
As this chapbook is my own personal Mourner’s Kaddish, it contains only ten poems—my minyan.
And that makes you, dear reader, my congregation.
Do you have concerns about your child’s speech or language development? Is your pediatrician/spouse/mother telling you to wait and see? Are you overwhelmed from trying to help your child, negotiating with their school for services and arguing with your insurance company?
Debbie Feit understands the challenges for parents and children when it comes to speech disorders. The mother of two kids who were diagnosed with apraxia and are now nonstop talkers, she spent years driving the therapy shuttle bus. A veteran of the waiting room, she offers real-world advice for parents on:
— Where to find help
— Making sense of your child’s diagnosis
— Being your child’s best advocate
— How to evaluate therapies and therapists
— How to help your child face their challenges
— Helping you and your family cope
The Parent’s Guide to Speech and Language Problems was written to lift the burden of isolation many parents feel while facing the challenges of their child’s communication problems. It offers clinical research combined with real-world, hands-on parent-tested solutions.
